Letting Go

I read something recently talking about letting go when it comes to your kids and it got me thinking. A lot.

It’s the eve of the first day of school. Summer is over. Our glorious, family-focused and memory-filled summer is over. My biggest starts fourth grade tomorrow. My youngest turns three next week. Where did the time go?

I’ve been thinking about what this year will bring for our family – and the struggles I’ve had in the past when it comes to looking ahead and not trying to be the one in control and knowing every bit of our future. I’ve dealt with post-partum anxiety and depression, and as I start to think about my kids getting bigger and moving to new stages in life, I feel the anxiety knocking at my door and trying to creep back in.

I want to hold on tighter. To not let go and lose control. To protect them. To plan for them. To constantly be there for them.

But I have to let go.

And as cliche as it sounds, let God.

As much as I want to be the one in control, I’m not. He is. And I have to put my trust in Him and know that he is the one holding my two babies even tighter than I am. I mean, I tell my children to trust Him. I need to listen to my own words.

When I don’t let go of my children, I put them on a pedestal. Turn them into idols. Put them before God. When I don’t let go of control, I tell God that I’m in charge. That I’m the one writing my family’s future.

This year, I’m letting go.

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